Bipolar disorder

Until recently I thought that Bipolar disorder was some casual artic mammal-on-mammal action during those long winter nights but it seems that it is not the case. Thanks to our modern day Oscar Wilde, her holiness Steven Fry (top man!) I am now both educated of the disorder and convinced I have it.

Well I mostly have it…. I show all the signs of mania, pretty much all of the time but without the aggravation of acute clinical depression at all.

This is the list of mania symptoms – do I have mania?

* elation
* short temper
* changing from short temper to elation and back again very quickly
* overactivity
* being easily distracted
* not sleeping
* overeating
* increase in sexual desire
* moving very quickly from topic to topic in conversation, making it very difficult for others to keep up
* speaking so quickly that it's difficult to understand all the words being said
* having very grandiose ideas

Oh shit… I’m a through and through maniac

This is the list of symptoms of depression.

* Sorry I don’t think I have the energy to put them here. You wouldn’t read them if I did anyhow.

Ed – I think this might be a paranoia joke rather than depression? Complaints on a postcard please to Steven Fry.

Apparently I also have a penchant to murder; this is according to my hairdresser who is aptly qualified to make such a diagnosis based on either: that he’s a third year Psychotherapy undergrad who knows about such things – or - maybe it stems back to last time he got my colour wrong? I had him scissors to throat threatening to douse him in BARBICIDE setting light to his limp and lifeless carcass? You decide.

Maybe I should take down the sign on my desk that says “you don’t need to be mad to work here, but it helps”?